Pronunciamento de Papas

How fair is this world when I can get one hundred dollars this Easter holiday and the Pope gets a urinary infection that kills him. Not that fair at all really. Kinda sucks. His Pontificate-ness assured me though that his rewards were to be greater in heaven. That the material bliss I received on this earthly plain is nothing compared to what he will receive in the heavenly one. Paradise does not come cheap my friends, or so says my father. The Pope and his predecessors paid handsomely in this life to be justly and fruitfully rewarded in the next. If this is the case, well, I am royally screwed my friends…
*sigh*
Well, good luck, fair well, and give my regards to Jesus your Holiness... Remind him he still owes me five bucks and his whole “but I died for your sins…” ain’t gonna cut it this time. You were the first Pope of my timeline, but you will not be the last. We will all miss your constant nagging for better human rights, and the absolutely fabulous, persistently jovial, youthful nature. And I am sorry *cough* for your death, according to one of my sources; you died because I touch myself at night… *cough*
Good night you Prince of Poland, you King of Saints…