I have to warn that this was apart of a story I was writing that just did not seem to fit within the contex . But since I had fun writing it, I adapted it and placed it here. Kinda dark, and is a bit of a pent-up-rage thingy, but i liked it none the less...
-sib-
The feeling, it just sometimes bubbles up inside. From my stomach to up through my esophagus, it climbs and falls. Like an astronaut breathing into a tube to test his air capacity, where the little ping-pong ball drops up and down, my mood teeters on the very edge of sanity. The threat of energy about to explode wallowing within the very pit of one’s soul is something to recon with. It is an energy, which can burst forth with exponential emotion, a force in which no one is nearly ready to handle. It emerges totally unannounced, like an uncle bearing drunken animosity toward his siblings at a family reunion or wedding, the regret afterwards can be sometimes unbearable. That is the emotion brewing deep inside me now.
I am afraid of its consequences. I am afraid I cannot bare it within any longer. A deep sigh released can relinquish some of the tension I imagine within myself, but to no avail, I am on the threshold of an explosion. My relief-valve seems to be buried under tremendous rubble of a previous explosion lost in the thick of mind numbing tediousness. The more I try to contain the violence wanting to escape, the worse off I know it is going to be for anyone and everyone else.
To myself I keep thinking others will say, “Meh, how bad could it be, really? Ewwww… ‘ittle Mikey goin’to explode… he he he…” And this train of thought helps me the least. Regret, anger, frustration, and anxiety are all the emotions that have been brewing inside. For only so long can I keep the monster at bay. How long, and to what cost though, do I do so? Would it be worse for me, and those who surround me, if I kept trying to contain the explosions within? Or would short bursts of temper tantrums be healthier?
Perhaps patience can be my worse virtue. How many times have I felt like Ben Stiller’s character from Mystery Men? “Rage building... rising... don't no if i can hang on... rage subsiding…” gone… *sigh*
-sib-
The feeling, it just sometimes bubbles up inside. From my stomach to up through my esophagus, it climbs and falls. Like an astronaut breathing into a tube to test his air capacity, where the little ping-pong ball drops up and down, my mood teeters on the very edge of sanity. The threat of energy about to explode wallowing within the very pit of one’s soul is something to recon with. It is an energy, which can burst forth with exponential emotion, a force in which no one is nearly ready to handle. It emerges totally unannounced, like an uncle bearing drunken animosity toward his siblings at a family reunion or wedding, the regret afterwards can be sometimes unbearable. That is the emotion brewing deep inside me now.
I am afraid of its consequences. I am afraid I cannot bare it within any longer. A deep sigh released can relinquish some of the tension I imagine within myself, but to no avail, I am on the threshold of an explosion. My relief-valve seems to be buried under tremendous rubble of a previous explosion lost in the thick of mind numbing tediousness. The more I try to contain the violence wanting to escape, the worse off I know it is going to be for anyone and everyone else.
To myself I keep thinking others will say, “Meh, how bad could it be, really? Ewwww… ‘ittle Mikey goin’to explode… he he he…” And this train of thought helps me the least. Regret, anger, frustration, and anxiety are all the emotions that have been brewing inside. For only so long can I keep the monster at bay. How long, and to what cost though, do I do so? Would it be worse for me, and those who surround me, if I kept trying to contain the explosions within? Or would short bursts of temper tantrums be healthier?
Perhaps patience can be my worse virtue. How many times have I felt like Ben Stiller’s character from Mystery Men? “Rage building... rising... don't no if i can hang on... rage subsiding…” gone… *sigh*
the Omnipotent... Everybody loves SuperInsignificantBoy wrote this at 2:34 AM
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