From My Handy-Dandy Notebook
Relationships
Old Style:
Boy meets girl
They fall in love
Live happily ever after
My Experiences:
Boy meets girl
Girl rejects boy
Boy is sad
Boy goes home and masturbates
Boy meets girl
Boy falls in love
Girl uses love
Girl prostitutes somewhere else
Boy goes home and masturbates
Boy meets girl
Boy and girl fall in love
Boy goes away
Girl forgets boy
Boy is sad
Boy masturbates
Today’s Standards:
Boy meets girl
Fall in love
Get married
Have 1.5 kids
Get divorced
Girl takes kids
Boy buys expensive new automobile
Boy meets new girl
And I am stuck at home still masturbating
Our Love
Our love is like The View being an actual interesting show.
Our love is like watching a television that only receives one station. It’s nice to know that it’s there if I need something to do, but I was more in the mood to watch a movie anyway.
Our love is like going to the “Party of the Year,” but you got too drunk. So, the next day you wake up not remembering a damn thing because you blacked out through most of it.
It’s like coming home to nothing but a bottle and the TV on a cold lonely night, yet going to bed because the bottles empty and the TV only has one channel that shows reruns of The View. That’s our love.
“Don’t get me wrong, I like our love. I just don’t think it’s very—funny?”
-Last line stolen from Bruce McCullough
Old Style:
Boy meets girl
They fall in love
Live happily ever after
My Experiences:
Boy meets girl
Girl rejects boy
Boy is sad
Boy goes home and masturbates
Boy meets girl
Boy falls in love
Girl uses love
Girl prostitutes somewhere else
Boy goes home and masturbates
Boy meets girl
Boy and girl fall in love
Boy goes away
Girl forgets boy
Boy is sad
Boy masturbates
Today’s Standards:
Boy meets girl
Fall in love
Get married
Have 1.5 kids
Get divorced
Girl takes kids
Boy buys expensive new automobile
Boy meets new girl
And I am stuck at home still masturbating
Our Love
Our love is like The View being an actual interesting show.
Our love is like watching a television that only receives one station. It’s nice to know that it’s there if I need something to do, but I was more in the mood to watch a movie anyway.
Our love is like going to the “Party of the Year,” but you got too drunk. So, the next day you wake up not remembering a damn thing because you blacked out through most of it.
It’s like coming home to nothing but a bottle and the TV on a cold lonely night, yet going to bed because the bottles empty and the TV only has one channel that shows reruns of The View. That’s our love.
“Don’t get me wrong, I like our love. I just don’t think it’s very—funny?”
-Last line stolen from Bruce McCullough
the Omnipotent... Everybody loves SuperInsignificantBoy wrote this at 1:25 AM
2 Feedback:
Michael, this is probably one of your finest blog entries. Everyone can be cynical about love, but not everyone can be cynical AND truthful. Way to go.
Wait... I just realized that anyone reading that comment will think something has gone horribly wrong with Josh, (as you are his friend) and this is not the case. I just meant to state that in my observations, those are rather truthful statements of love as I have seen it in the people around me. Just thought I'd clear up any forthcoming confusion.
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