Life as a Social Buffer
[Warning!—this post may contain hints at Utilitarian notions—Warning!]
Driving home from school today, I was thinking—as I always have loads of time to think random thoughts while behind slow moving vehicles—about my service to others on the road behind me as a buffer. No, not literally, as another car in between theirs and the one in front of mine, but more as an abstract social buffer. To explain, I have to start off with what prompted the line of thought.
Everyone knows someone, or has been that person, who rides their car up on the asses of other cars. You know the kind of drivers that jump up at you in your rearview mirror. So much so that you can tell that they need to pluck a few nose hairs. Anyway, there will always be those kinds of stupid maniacs on the road. Hell, you may very well be one of those jerks. And if this is so, please pluck your nose hairs every once in awhile—it’s really disgusting. Like I said, there are always going to be drivers like that on the road where ever you go. But what really angers me about these kinds of drivers is not their weaving in and out of traffic or even their horribly bad acne and poor personal hygiene skills showing up in my mirrors, but the fact that they always seem to drive automatics.
Now, let me explain where I am going with this. Because they are driving automatics, and following so damn close to the cars in front of them, there is a instinct need to have one foot on the gas and brake pedals respectfully at all times. Yes, these are the chronic phantom brake pushers. And let me tell you, though you probably already know this, it is not fun to be behind these bozos. And if you get a whole line of them in heavy traffic—watch out my friends—cause bad things are about to happen.
In fact, this is what happens everyday, actually twice each day, on the byways and highways of every major city. And everyday, twice per day, there are back-ups and bottlenecks keeping me from reaching my destination—your destination—on time. What happens is that these guys, sorry gals too (in their damnable mini-vans), get behind one another and when one brake’s a whole chain of events takes place behind them, and in the other lanes as well. They all brake. And every car behind the first one has to break a little harder than the previous, so on and so on. Till eventually the cars in the back come to an immediate halt.
Why automatics and not every car? Well, every automobile—well, driver—is guilty of this phenomenon, but the manual automobiles are a little better because their engine breaking is a-helluva-lot better. Where automatics have to start breaking for the slightest slow down, a manual can just let go of their gas pedal for the same effect. And it’s those damn brake lights that cause the panic from behind. One set goes off, boom!—panic ensues—and just like dominos they all start to go off.
Now, where am I a social buffer in all of this? Well, quite simply, I drive a manual. But not only do I drive a manual, and hence no flashing brake lights, I am a cautious driver as well. I don’t ride peoples asses (well, usually), so I never help set off these reactions. This is of course a mute point if I am at the tail end of these reactions, and then helpless to do anything but slam on my brakes as well. I and some other people who are unsung heroes provide somewhat a social buffer for all those jackasses out there. And this is only the small minute picture.
In the grander scheme of things, there are millions of social buffers walking the streets everyday. You are a social buffer, I am a social buffer, and Ted over there—yeah, the guy with wild hair, wired rim glasses—is a social buffer too. Anytime you or I have said to one of our friends, “Gee Paul—er—I don’t think that is such a good idea… [to do that jackass thing you’re about to do]” and then Paul was convinced not to do it, thus halting a chain of events that would have hurt someone else (in a physical or mental way), was being a social buffer. This also means, adversely, that you or I have behaved in a social deviant way, what I like to call—or am calling now—a social instigator. We have been on the other end of that conversation and either listened to the social buffer or not. And what was the result? I know I have been on the other end of the conversation more than the other way around. If it weren’t for Chris to convene, there would probably be a lot more people on Landen Dr. who have been hit by pennies as I threw them out the window. Damn joggers.
Anyway, I hope you can understand what I am writing about, or better yet let me take off the blame, I hope I have conveyed my point efficiently enough without further philosophical vomit. But let me end on this question. Just how worse off would the world be without those insignificant buffers in it? Would there even be a civilization any longer? Think of those people who have provided severe cushioning in times of great strain (or I guess for our purposes, great pressure)? I guess it doesn't really matter. I have to head off to work now, and I am tired of sharin'
Peace out peoples,
-sib-
Driving home from school today, I was thinking—as I always have loads of time to think random thoughts while behind slow moving vehicles—about my service to others on the road behind me as a buffer. No, not literally, as another car in between theirs and the one in front of mine, but more as an abstract social buffer. To explain, I have to start off with what prompted the line of thought.
Everyone knows someone, or has been that person, who rides their car up on the asses of other cars. You know the kind of drivers that jump up at you in your rearview mirror. So much so that you can tell that they need to pluck a few nose hairs. Anyway, there will always be those kinds of stupid maniacs on the road. Hell, you may very well be one of those jerks. And if this is so, please pluck your nose hairs every once in awhile—it’s really disgusting. Like I said, there are always going to be drivers like that on the road where ever you go. But what really angers me about these kinds of drivers is not their weaving in and out of traffic or even their horribly bad acne and poor personal hygiene skills showing up in my mirrors, but the fact that they always seem to drive automatics.
Now, let me explain where I am going with this. Because they are driving automatics, and following so damn close to the cars in front of them, there is a instinct need to have one foot on the gas and brake pedals respectfully at all times. Yes, these are the chronic phantom brake pushers. And let me tell you, though you probably already know this, it is not fun to be behind these bozos. And if you get a whole line of them in heavy traffic—watch out my friends—cause bad things are about to happen.
In fact, this is what happens everyday, actually twice each day, on the byways and highways of every major city. And everyday, twice per day, there are back-ups and bottlenecks keeping me from reaching my destination—your destination—on time. What happens is that these guys, sorry gals too (in their damnable mini-vans), get behind one another and when one brake’s a whole chain of events takes place behind them, and in the other lanes as well. They all brake. And every car behind the first one has to break a little harder than the previous, so on and so on. Till eventually the cars in the back come to an immediate halt.
Why automatics and not every car? Well, every automobile—well, driver—is guilty of this phenomenon, but the manual automobiles are a little better because their engine breaking is a-helluva-lot better. Where automatics have to start breaking for the slightest slow down, a manual can just let go of their gas pedal for the same effect. And it’s those damn brake lights that cause the panic from behind. One set goes off, boom!—panic ensues—and just like dominos they all start to go off.
Now, where am I a social buffer in all of this? Well, quite simply, I drive a manual. But not only do I drive a manual, and hence no flashing brake lights, I am a cautious driver as well. I don’t ride peoples asses (well, usually), so I never help set off these reactions. This is of course a mute point if I am at the tail end of these reactions, and then helpless to do anything but slam on my brakes as well. I and some other people who are unsung heroes provide somewhat a social buffer for all those jackasses out there. And this is only the small minute picture.
In the grander scheme of things, there are millions of social buffers walking the streets everyday. You are a social buffer, I am a social buffer, and Ted over there—yeah, the guy with wild hair, wired rim glasses—is a social buffer too. Anytime you or I have said to one of our friends, “Gee Paul—er—I don’t think that is such a good idea… [to do that jackass thing you’re about to do]” and then Paul was convinced not to do it, thus halting a chain of events that would have hurt someone else (in a physical or mental way), was being a social buffer. This also means, adversely, that you or I have behaved in a social deviant way, what I like to call—or am calling now—a social instigator. We have been on the other end of that conversation and either listened to the social buffer or not. And what was the result? I know I have been on the other end of the conversation more than the other way around. If it weren’t for Chris to convene, there would probably be a lot more people on Landen Dr. who have been hit by pennies as I threw them out the window. Damn joggers.
Anyway, I hope you can understand what I am writing about, or better yet let me take off the blame, I hope I have conveyed my point efficiently enough without further philosophical vomit. But let me end on this question. Just how worse off would the world be without those insignificant buffers in it? Would there even be a civilization any longer? Think of those people who have provided severe cushioning in times of great strain (or I guess for our purposes, great pressure)? I guess it doesn't really matter. I have to head off to work now, and I am tired of sharin'
Peace out peoples,
-sib-
the Omnipotent... Everybody loves SuperInsignificantBoy wrote this at 4:43 PM
1 Feedback:
Yeah, you are another one of those social buffers in my life... And josh-wah!, thanks, I think, for either spoiling or preventing a terrific or horrible outcome...
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