Have you ever ridden a spaceship to the moon made of popsicle sticks and glue? I have. I’m really resourceful when it comes to things like that. Did you know that I won second place in the spelling bee last week? Yup, lost on the word “exacerbate,” I spelled it e-x-a-s-e-r-b-a-t-e. Stupid C. But I did win second, after spelling a bunch of other words right. Everybody commented on how smart a kid I am. I can count to one-thousand now—did it the other night when I was supposed to be asleep. Just wanted to see if I could do it, you know. Have you ever counted to a million? I bet I could if I wanted to, but I get tired after the first hundred or so. Heck, who wouldn’t? I’m too busy to deal with numbers at the moment, you know what I mean? Hey, hey, hey, have you seen the jungles of Kalimantan? It’s a real place. I saw it on the television. Ever been? Me neither, but I built a tree fort down in the woods last weekend all by myself. Planning on staying out there alone this weekend if the weather’s okay (and if it’s okay with you guys as well, I guess) but you don’t have to worry about me, because I’m not scared (so, please say yes). The other day Melissa St. John tried to kiss me while Mrs. Windsor’s back was turned, but I didn’t let her. I haven’t any time for relationships I told her. But the women keep flocking and I have to beat them back with my ruler. It’s all one pain in my “you-know-what” if you guys know what I mean.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you guys that I can handle what you aren’t willing to tell me. Don’t tell me that things are too complicated; I’m smart enough to understand. We all have issues, especially relationship issues, and if you guys are having issues, don’t you think that your child should have a right to know what’s going on? After all, I’m smart, sophisticated, well traversed in the ways of the world (did I mention I’m taking geography this year?), and relationships. I’m not afraid of your answer, and I am not too young to be kept from the truth any longer. So stop telling me the adults are talking and to go away, when clearly I am one as well. What do you guys say; can we talk adult to adults or what?