Madness Grown In An Ill Slept Mind

“Here.”
“What?”
“Hold out your hand, I want to give you something.”
“What?”
“Just hold out your hand and I’ll give it to you.”
“It’s not something gross is it?”
“No, just do it.”
“Fine”

“What? Why did you give me this?”
“It’s a neat rock I just found in the creek”
“No it isn’t.”
“Sure it is. I just got it from the creek.”
“No, this is a tulip. A tulip I just saw you pick from my garden five seconds ago.”
“I assure you that it isn’t. It’s a neat rock I just found—in a creek.”
“Oh—What the fuck? I just saw you pick this flower just a second ago from my damn garden. How on earth are you going to tell me it’s a rock when it is clearly a flower?”
“Oh that’s why the rock is neat. ‘Cause it looks just like a flower. A tulip no doubt. Isn’t that neat?”
“No! No it isn’t neat. This is a flower. A rock is something that is hard. Does this look hard to you? Have you ever seen a blue and white striped rock before?
"No, that's why I thought it was neat though. That's why I brought it over for you to see. There's a whole bunch of them there in the creek."
"It's not a rock ! It's a goddamn tulip! Could I crumple up a rock with such ease?”
“Wow!”
“What?”
“You’re really strong…”
“Oh don’t give me that.”
“What?”
“You know what.”
“That you’re really strong?”
“What? No!”
“Well, you are. anyone who can crush a rock like that with their bare hands has to be considered such, don’t you think?”
“No! No I do not think. You’re still going to insist that this here crushed bunch of petals in my hand is still a rock?”
“No.”
“You changing you’re mind now? Going to admit it’s a flower then?”
“No.”
“What now?”
"It was a rock. Well, it was until you crushed it. Now, it’s more like—um—a bunch of little rocks.”
“That you found down by the creek.”
“Yes.”
“God, you’re crazy. You know that don't you? I don’t know why I put up with you.”
“And I don’t know why you still think that is a flower, when it was clearly a rock.”
“IT WASN”T A ROCK!”
“Sure it was, and I’ll prove it to you.”
"How are you going to do that?”
“Simple, do you have ten dollars?”
“Um—yes, yes I do. But what does that have anything to do with it?”
"Hold on a sec while I go get another one."
"Another what, flower?"
"No, a rock."
"From the creek."
"Yes."
"Which is in my garden."
"Yes."
"It wouldn't deter you to say that I don't have a creek running through my garden would it?"
"No."
"And why not."
"'Cause there's a creek running through your garden."
"I'd think I would have seen it before, or at least have known I had one."
"Maybe you've never been back here before."
"I planted that goddamn garden last spring."
"Oh, did you? Well then, you should know all about the creek that runs through it, shouldn't you?"
"I should, and I do know that there is no damn creek."
"Maybe you missed it."
"Maybe you're a loon."
"We'll see... now hold on a second, I'll be right back."

"Alright, here you go. Hold out your hand and be careful with this one. You don't know your own strength, you might crush this one as well."
"What, another tulip? You're afraid I'll crush another tulip? Well, I'll make sure I'm extra careful not to crush this tulip."
"It's a rock."
"A flower!"
"A rock!"
"Fine, whatever, let's just get this over with..."
"You got that ten dollars then?"
"Yeah, why?"
“I’ll bet you ten dollars that was a rock and I can get anyone around here to verify it.”
“Will I be there?”
“Of course.”
“Fine, we’ll get yourself someone to verify that this is a rock and clearly not a crushed tulip and I will gladly pay ten dollars to you. But I get to choose the person.”
“Fine, but I get to talk to them.”
“Fine. How 'bout that man walking his dog over there. That's Mr. Flannigan. He'll do just fine."
"Okay, sure. Anyone will do. I'll be right back."

“Hey, excuse me, but my friend and I were having a discussion about the item I gave him after collecting it in the creek. I told him I found a unique rock and that it looks like a flower, and he says that he saw me moments ago collect the item from his garden and it is instead a tulip. Now I have bet him ten dollars that I could get someone else to verify the item is indeed a rock like I said. The person who happened to be chosen by him is you. I will split the ten bucks with you fifty-fifty if you verify which item in his hands to be true, mine or his. Will you do this for me?"
“Five bucks? Sure pal, anything you want. Let me just put Muffy back inside and I'll be over in a minute.”
"Oh good. We'll be waiting.”

“Alright, here you are Chris. Hold out your hand so that the gentleman can see what you have holding in your palm.”
“Well, which do you think it is Mr. Flannigan?”
“Oh that’s a rock. It does look like a flower, but most definitely it is a rock.”
“What?”
“He said a rock. So pay up. I was right.”
“You most certainly were not right. This is a flower, a fucking flower. I saw you pick it in my garden and I saw you bring it over to me. I am not going to pay you ten dollars anymore than you are going to ever be sane.”
“You’re not going to give me ten dollars?”
“No.”
“But I owe this gentleman five dollars for assisting us.”
“And that is precisely why I am not going to pay. You cheated and now I am going back inside.”

“Um… I hate to bother you…”
“But you will won’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Well then what is it? Is it about this rock business?”
“Actually yes it is. You see, you still owe me five dollars for my part.”
“I already gave it to you.”
“What?”
“I already gave it to you right after my friend gave me the money.”
"What? No you didn’t and neither did he. You didn't win the bet.”
“I am pretty sure I did, and at the least, I am certain that I did give you the money.”
“You did?”
“Yes.”
"And you won the bet."
"Yes."
“Oh! Well, that settles that then.”
"Yes. Good day!"
"Good day."