Godwear

[Michael rushes down the steps hurriedly. As he is about to walk out the door, destination church this morning, he is stopped by his father who is about to start in on an old debate these two have had over the past umpteen years on Sundays...]

Dad: "Hey Michael, where are your good shoes?"
Me: "Um... I dunno. I guess there around somewheres..."
Dad: "You need to go put those on for church."
Me: [looks down at the brand new Reebok duds currently on feet] "What's wrong with the shoes I have on?"
Dad: "Oh you know this answer to this tiresome debate..."
Me: "Ah... yes, but I just want to hear it again to make sure that your feelings on the subject haven't changed since the last time we drew lines in the sand..."
Dad: "It hasn't. Go change your shoes, and hurry up 'cause you're gonna be late."
Me: "Why, these shoes are perfectly comfortable and I don't think that gOD is into the whole aesthetic thing anyway. In fact, he told me as much this past Wednesday..."
Dad: "It would be nice for a change if you looked nice for Him."
Me: "What's wrong with the way I look?"
Dad: "Yer hair's a mess, your clothes--though the shirt may have a collar--it isn't like it wasn't wadded up in the laundry hamper minutes ago, and those slacks... when's the last time you even thought of ironing your clothes? I mean come on... Yer supposed to dress up for the Lord on his day out of respect for Him..."
Me: "My lORD doesn't care what I look like, what I wear, how much money I make a year, how much effort I put into the rituals at Mass. He accepts me the way that I am."
Dad: "Your lord? He's everybody's Lord, Michael. Now, go upstairs and put your dress shoes on."
Me: [looks at the clock on the wall and smiles broadly] "Whoops... Can't do that dad, already gonna be late as it is. I'll just have to ask Jesus to forgive my appearance as he hangs out with his preferred company, like beggars, whores, and lepers... I'll see ya in an hour!"
[Walks out the door before father can respond. Drives away to nearby park, parks the car under the brightly lighted sky and opens the current book he is reading about a fictional armageddon.]


You know, gOD really does care about the way you look when you arrive at church to worship him. He has just recently opened a chain of clothing stores featuring his own fashion line. It is called "God-wear." When you're feeling like the man of the host, why not dress like him. The clothing line ranges from everyday apparel (robes, sandals and such) to clothes designed for those special occasions like crucifixions, where one could even buy a crown of thorns! Yes, not only can you aspire to act and be like Christ, now you can dress like him too.

-sib-