Menagerie of Meretricious Metaphysics
Mumbled Mannered Me



X Graduate from college

X Buy a new car

X Get a job

X Move away from home

___ …Um I got nothin’… get my hair cut, perhaps?


So, it seems that my check list is almost complete. I have accomplished (or will at least next week) the short term goals I set out for myself a few months ago. But now I guess my dilemma is that I have no new short term goals left in mind, not to mention long term ones. I guess it would be truthful to say too that I never have had any long term insight about what I saw my self doing in five, ten, twenty years from now. I guess I always assumed I would be dead by the age of twenty-five and never gave it much thought.

But here I am, twenty-five, and I have at least a good ten years left in me. What do I do now? I guess it wouldn’t hurt to stop smoking and exercise a bit, lose my gut, and see if I can’t stay around a few more years. Yet, I cannot really think of any great reason to even do so.

It’s not really that I hate life or mine in particular (otherwise I would have off’ed myself or at the very least, you a long time ago). It’s just that we all have to go eventually. Some go sooner than others, some keep on it for quite awhile, but most (if not all) go before they are ready. Do you know why we go clinging to every breath that they can possibly cling? Why we hook ourselves up to so cold and sterile machines? Why do we have those indifferent aseptic nurses keep resuscitating the life back into us? It is because we have generally and regrettably not lived our lives to the fullest? Were we too busy trying to extend our lives, too busy to take the time to sit back and really enjoy it? Are we too busy trying to secure our old age with wealth that by the time we are ready to enjoy the comfort cushioned, we are too frail and tired to actually enjoy it? The answer it seems, for the most part, is yes it is.

I am not implying that I by any stretch of the imagination that I have lived myself silly or anything like it. But I do admit to enjoying the simplistic and naughty vices here and there. If my life were put into a music disk, I’d have an anthology of songs sung about black lungs, dead brain cells, loose women/morals, and many songs of misplaced nights.

Basically, it would be much like any rock and roll album out there today. Yet, I have not lived the life of a rock star by far. Nor have I lived life running toward danger. I am not stupid. Like I said before, I don’t hate my life. I am kind of fond of it actually. There’s a difference between living life to the fullest and just throwing one’s life away frivolously. And this is why I will be able to justify such actions as smoking throughout my youth, drinking banefully till I can’t remember how to feel, or at the very least the lack of exercise when I am upon my deathbed. There will be no pleading to some unknown for a reprieve to be granted. When we die, we die. To think otherwise would only hinder one’s capability to be free from the limitations of conventional thinking. Traditional ideologies and religious notions over saturated with certain base beliefs and fallacies about the value of life and what it actually means to live.

I do not believe in reincarnation or any mumbo-jumbo like it, nor do I believe in anything as silly as an after-life. I believe we have one life to lead and then we basically disappear. It is as simplistic as that. This may scare some people, but it does not frighten me. At the very least I know there is an end. Otherwise, life would be somewhat pointless. POINTLESS? Yes, pointless… Let me explain.

Let us say, for the sake of argument, that there is such a thing as reincarnation or an afterlife. Then life could and would, via strict laws of religious imagination interpreted by yours truly, go on infinitely, yes? Either on a Heavenly plane or an Earthly one (unless the Sun explodes and eventually kills all life on the planet—and then the life perhaps would be transported somewhere else) life would continue on forever. Well, if one lives forever, then what kind of significance does the span of 40-80 years have on us? I suppose not much at all. It much the same as looking into anything infinite, forty to eighty, even ninety years is nothing short of a drop of water in the ocean (Hell, all seven oceans—all oceans around the universe). We cannot possibly fathom how insignificant that span is because it is so meaningless.

So this brings me back to the very start upon which I began this discourse. What exactly should I shoot for as a good goal to achieve if I only have a fraction—a meaningless blip of time in which I can pursue it? So far the only thing I have is on a list below.



___ Stop waisting time writing philosophies that no one will read and you yourself will not follow.

___ Buy more soda when I go to the store

___ Pay my bills on time

X Take a nap after I finish this damn list



Okay, so this updated list is pretty pathetic, but what about my life (and yours… don’t even try to exclude yourself if you have just taken the time to read this) isn’t pathetic? Well, screw you guys for not disagreeing with me… I am taking off to see if I can’t really accomplish the last goal on the list…
Peace out peoples,
-sib-